On FEAR as a “CONSTRUCT” – Meaning, you built it yourself!
Last week I had a question posed from an incoming associate about understanding and “mitigating” fear. He was crossing over from an environment of a fixed salaried employee into the world of a Real Estate Salesperson, which essentially is the perspective of the business owner. The question here was, “How to mitigate such a FEAR?”
Let us begin by examining this curiosity called “FEAR”. In seeking to understand it, an easier way is to look at its direct opposite, the dichotomy of FEAR being, COMFORT. To best illustrate this, one must also understand FEAR’s purpose in our lives. Essentially, FEAR is what keeps us alive, by keeping us wary of the unknown, and away from reckless perspective. Aka, something that all LIVING and BREATHING creatures live with.
Hence in this understanding, this is precisely why COMFORT zones are precisely why they are defined by what they are:
“CYCLES OF REPETITIVE CYCLES THAT GIVE AN ALMOST GAURANTEED OUTCOME”
Hence, FEAR, when distilled beyond the emotional level, is really mechanical, hence, predictable and within human control.
However it is not the Human Condition to live in continuous repetitive cycles. Human beings were meant for very much more! For the reason that Humans have looked up to the stars since ages past till the time he has set foot on the moon. The Human imagination and aspiration to explore lie at the heart of us all.
In the conversation on economics, the Mount Everest of Economics is and always will be to own one’s own business. The main difference between an employee and a business owner is that one bears FULL reward and risk for their decisions and actions. Hence, it is can be a risky endeavour for someone who has not explored that domain before.
Now that we have a better understanding of what we are up against, it is much easier to discuss how to go about managing the FEAR. I will propose 2 main approaches for this:
Firstly, building comfort circles within an environment of certainty, and secondly, shifting perspectives.
On Building Comfort Circles:
Earlier, I spoke about understanding the mechanics of FEAR, simply meaning, someone venturing into the unknown only needs to understand that it is not about “Mitigating” the fear, but instead by creating cycles of certainty in the new environment that make for predictable repetition.
This can take many forms, the easiest of which are to live following strict routines and rules.
Examples being:
1. Have a fixed waking and bedtime
2. Having an exercise regime
3. Regular hobbies
The idea here is to replicate the structure and predictability of an employee where certain time and activity commitments are fixed throughout the term of employment.
In the world of the business owner, a constant driver of fear is in not knowing what to do next, or what to do with the time on hand.
In times of war, the wisest of Generals understand that nothing saps a soldier’s morale and fighting spirit better than boredom.
My team associates would have heard me say this at some point in time, “As long as you find yourself free, look for something to do. The money comes naturally.”
On Shifting Perspectives:
In understanding “perspectives”, the key here is that perspectives really are about the “relational” aspect of the individual’s relationship with the issue. In this sense, the issue is the moving from an environment as a salaried-employee, all the other way to the other end of the spectrum of a business owner.
There are 2 ways to shift a perspective, one is via the inspirational route, and the other is by replacing it with something with even more reason to be fearful.
On the INSPIRATIONAL route,
This path is about giving the individual something worth fighting for, therein, they will find the courage necessary to overcome the obstacles in their path. These take many forms, for example, self-fulfilment, owning something for themselves, or simply building something they can call their own. Thus this end goal that they are working towards always consists of two aspects, namely, the tangible and monetary outcome, and the intangible fulfilment aspects. The leader/mentor must be able to distinguish both.
On the BIGGER FEAR route,
Sun Tzu once said, the soldiers must fear military law above all, and then the enemy second.
In all undertakings there are two sides to the coin, there are the rewards of success, and the price of failure. In many cases, we always address the bright, shiny and rosy picture of what potential success looks like. Many a good leader fails to drive home the consequences of failure and the “pain” that comes with it. A powerful perspective shift that a leader/coach is able to do, is to bring forward the future “pain” into the present for the subject to fully appreciate and experience the “pain” of failure before it even happens. That way, in running from that much BIGGER FEAR, every smaller obstacle therein seems small by comparison.
Both of the above perspective shifts are about creating the impetus to take action for a desired change to occur. Many coaches/trainers speak about the elusive element of “Courage”. I prefer to speak of it as the element inside yourself that you have always had, found, only in the face of your own fears.
We started this conversation about looking at FEAR as a construct, at this stage, you the reader would start getting a glimpse of FEAR really being about smoke and mirrors that you have built up about yourself. Over time as you gain mastery over your FEARs, you begin to act faster in spite of fear, rather than being held hostage by paralysis.
With time, this voice that used to strike fear into your actions, now matures to be a mature voice of council to always be heeded in contemplation before acting. Such are the beginnings of wisdom, but that is a conversation for another time.
Best Regards,
Mervin Tang
Group Director
Division Lead Trainer, Project Sales
CEA Reg No. : R030951Z
Huttons Asia Pte Ltd
Mobile: (65) 9184 0208
Website: http://www.SGrealestate.sg
Sales Enquiry: mervintang@SGrealestate.sg
Huttons Asia Pte Ltd
Mobile: (65) 9184 0208
Website: http://www.SGrealestate.sg
Sales Enquiry: mervintang@SGrealestate.sg
Discussions: http://sg-realestate-sg.
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